


Interdepence

by childoflightning



Series: just keep stumbling forward (baby im waiting for you) [8]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Ableism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Good Friend, Anxious Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Bad Parenting, Caring Logic | Logan Sanders, Difficult Decisions, Friendship, Gen, Growing Up, Hurt/Comfort, Independence: A Topic, Logan is autistic, M/M, Multi, Other, Patton is Disabled, Remy Has a Service Dog, Remy is blind, Remy's father does some questionable things, Roman is Muslim, Running Away, Sad with a Happy Ending, Virgil has PTSD, Virgil has a Service Dog, and this is a last case scenario, bad home life, because sometimes that is what's best for you, internalized ableism, it is a last case scenario, that's why he's up at sunrise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 12:21:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19723585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childoflightning/pseuds/childoflightning
Summary: Interdependence- The idea of balancing dependency and independence to find a happy medium where one relies both healthy on others and oneself.-Or: Someone shows up at Virgil's door in the middle of the night, causing lots of anxiety and intense talks about independence.





	Interdepence

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been in my head ever since I first introduced Remy's character. A lot of it relates to my own experiences with wanting/needing independence, but Remy's story is definitely still different from my own.
> 
> **TW: PTSD, Cults, Anxiety, Restrictive and Borderline Abusive Parents, Taking Away a Guidance Aid, Borderline Panic Attack, Ableism**

As all great stories start, it was a dark and stormy night. Virgil happened to wake up due to the storm and couldn’t fall back asleep. As such, he had entered the kitchen to make some tea and then try to go back to bed.

So here he was in the kitchen, slowly sipping tea, when he heard the thumping. At first he thought it had to just be the storm. But after the fourth or fifth thump, he realized it was coming from the door. His head sprung up at the realization and his whole body tensed.

His first thought: _They_ found him. The thought was quick but powerful and it took all of Virgil’s strength to push it down and away. It was irrational, he reminded himself. There was no evidence at all supporting that _they_ had found him. He was safe. He was okay.

The thump came again.

Virgil grabbed a knife from the block on the counter and carefully approached the door. Just because it wasn’t them didn’t mean that it was completely safe. Better to be over prepared than under.

The thumping grew louder.

He shook slightly, mind racing at the thoughts of who the potential intruder could be.

Another thump.

Virgil peered through the window, knife at the ready when to his surprise he saw…

He opened the door with a swing.

“Remy?” he asked incredulously as he lowered the knife.

* * *

“Hi Virgil,” the teen said meekly from where he and his dog were standing in the hallway, soaked to the bone.

Virgil just stood in shock as the rain continued to pour down from the heavens.

“Uh, Virge?" Remy asked after a prolonged silence.

“Oh, uh,” Virgil stammered, “Come in.”

He opened the door wider and took a step back as Remy and Cha-Cha entered the apartment.

“Just give me a moment,” he told the two of them, and then raced away leaving the two of them stranded and dripping water in his living room.

He returned quickly after putting the knife away and grabbing a bunch of towels.

“I’m back,” Virgil announced as he reentered the room, “and I have towels for you.”

Remy turned towards him and reached his arms out. Virgil handed him one and he muttered a thanks.

“Is it okay if I take Cha-Cha’s harness and dry her off?” Virgil asked him as Remy dried his hair.

“Yeah,” the boy allowed.

Virgil nodded and set to work on taking the harness off.

When he had taken it all off he set to rubbing her fur vigorously with a towel to dry it. The large dog just stood patiently all the while.

After the two of them were dry, the urgency of the tense situation seemed to evaporate slightly.

“Remy?” Virgil asked softly, “What are you doing here?”

Remy sniffled softly and then all of a sudden he was crying.

“Hey, okay,” Virgil said gently as he walked over to comfort the younger boy, “Let’s sit down, okay?”

Remy nodded miserably and let Virgil lead them both to his couch.

“Okay Rem, I’m here for you, but you gotta let me know what’s going on,” Virgil said softly.

“I ran away,” Remy admitted.

The conversation froze.

“What?” Virgil said in shock.

“I ran away,” Remy repeated, voice firmer this time, almost as if in defense.

“Okay,” Virgil said gently, brain attempting to process the major fact that his friend had just run away from his home in Utah all the way to his shitty apartment in Florida.

“I ran away,” Remy repeated, “And I didn’t know where to go, and I had written down my dad’s credit card information. So I bought a plane ticket. And I came here. I didn’t know where else to go. I’m so sorry Virgil. I just didn’t know what to do and I had nowhere to go- and-”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Virgil soothed, “It’s going to be okay Remy, I’m glad you came here.”

“You are?” the teen said meekly.

“Uh, huh,” Virgil said with a nod.

The two sat in silence for a moment before Cha-Cha let out a loud sneeze, breaking the atmosphere.

They both startled at the noise.

“It’s late,” Virgil eventually said, “Why don’t you crash on the couch, we can talk in the morning, okay?”

Remy sighed, “Okay,” he agreed.

“I’ll be right back, I’m gonna grab a few things,” Virgil told the younger boy.

Remy just nodded in exhaustion as Virgil left the room.

* * *

Virgil spent a few minutes wandering around the small apartment in search of supplies. A little while later he rejoined Remy.

“I have some blankets, a pillow, and a change of clothes if you want to change,” Virgil offered. He passed the bundle over, just close enough so it was brushing Remy’s thigh. The teen ran his hands over the item, finding the clothes, and picked them up.

“Thanks,” he mumbled.

“Do you want me to show you to the bathroom?” Virgil asked.

“Uh, just tell me where it is?” Remy requested.

Virgil did so, as well as explained the base layout of the apartment and where his bedroom was if he needed anything.

After the quick explanation, Virgil let him be for the night.

* * *

As Virgil crawled back into bed, Logan shifted slightly. Virgil froze and hoped that he hadn't woken his boyfriend. But Logan didn’t continue to move. So Virgil climbed in and wrapped his arms around Logan and tried to fall back asleep.

Virgil awoke to a dog jumping on him.

“Oof,” Logan groaned at Virgil’s side before the dog moved to attack Virgil’s face with kisses.

Virgil pushed the slobbering beast off.

“Trix, calm down,” he pleaded.

The dog just continued to pant and laid on top of him. Virgil sighed but started to pet her, looking around the room. Directly at his side stood Roman.

“ _Jesus_ ,” Virgil said, jumping slightly and clutching a hand to his heart, “What the hell are you doing Roman?”

“Why is Remy sleeping on our couch?”

“What?” came Logan’s sleepy reply.

“Why is Remy sleeping on our couch?” Roman repearted.

“ _What?!_ ” Logan said again as the information sank in and he sprung up in bed. Patton sat up as well, yawning widely.

“He turned up just a little bit before midnight,” Virgil offered.

All three heads turned to him.

“Uh,” Virgil stuttered, “He, well, he said he ran away? I dunno? So I told him to crash on the couch and we would talk in the morning.”

“He ran away?” Logan asked.

And before getting an answer he started to scramble out of the bed and towards the door.

Before he could make it Roman grabbed him by the wrist.

At the sudden and unexpected touch Logan let out a screech and immediately pulled his wrist away and grasped it tightly to his chest.

Roman put his hands up in a clear motion of surrender.

“Sorry Lo,” he immediately apologized, “I wasn’t thinking. Are you okay?”

Logan nodded and slowly dropped his arm.

“It’s okay,” he said, before turning away once more to the door.

“Lo,” Virgil called, “Let’s- Let’s not go bug Remy yet okay? We should let him sleep. He got in super late.”

Logan tapped his foot against the floor.

“But I have questions,” he insisted.

“We all do,” Patton chipped in, “but let him rest a bit more, yeah?”

“I suppose,” Logan grumbled. “I’m just-” Logan struggled to find a word for just what exactly he was, before letting out a low growl, “’ll start breakfast,” he then added. And with that he left the room.

“He does realize it’s sunrise, right?” Roman commented.

“Well, we’re awake now, might as well get up,” Patton said with a shrug as he also got out of their bed.

Virgil resigned himself to the same fate and got out of bed as well, already missing the warmth of his covers and boyfriends.

-

Virgil knew that when he walked into the main room he would see Remy sleeping on his couch with Cha-Cha curled up on the floor, but even with that knowledge, the sight still came as a surprise. Probably due to the fact that Remy had just traveled across the entire country with no warning to crash on their couch. Shit, what was he thinking? He may be a legal adult now, but come on the kid was just that, a kid. Virgil sighed but left him.

Instead, he joined Logan in the kitchen. While Logan set to making omelettes, Virgil went to the pantry to grab Trixie’s food. At the sound of the clattering kibble, his dog came racing in.  
“Good morning,” he greeted her as he turned around. She sat patiently at the spot where he always put her food, but in addition Cha-Cha was right behind her. He mixed some water into it before setting it down and finally giving her the command to eat. He then stepped away and called Cha-Cha with him. The dog followed dutifully, looking just slightly forlorn at the lack of food.

“I’m sorry baby,” he told her, “But I don’t know what Remy feeds you and I don’t want to mess with your stomach. We’ll get you something in a little bit, okay?”

She of course said nothing in response, but also didn’t seem too upset so he let her be, instead starting to set the table.

Roman and Patton soon arrived to help him, making it a very quick and easy task. Before long they were seated at the table, eating, while Remy continued to doze in the other room.

“So, what’s the plan?” Roman asked after a few minutes of silence, “I mean what are we going to do with Remy?”

“We need to know why he’s here,” insisted Logan.

“I think we should maybe give him some space,” Virgil commented.

“Virgil, he traveled across the country to spend the night on the couch, I think there’s an issue,” Logan argued.

“I don’t disagree,” Virgil said calmly, “But, like you said, he traveled 2,000 miles to sleep on our couch, something is obviously wrong. I don’t think drilling him immediately is the way to go.”

Logan just frowned deeply and scratched at the table.

“I’m frustrated,” he eventually said.

“Okay,” Virgil said, “Do you know why?”

Logan seemed to think about it for a moment.

“I’m worried,” he eventually concluded, “I’m worried about him.”

“Okay so how about this,” Patton pitched in, “Virgil, you usually take Trixie to the park in the mornings, why don’t you invite Remy with you? And then maybe you can ask him a few questions and try to figure things out. And for now I think we should at least plan that Remy’s going to be staying with us until we discuss this again, yeah?”

There were nods around the table.

“Awesome,” Patton said, “Roman, you want to help me with the dishes?”

Roman shrugged, “Sure.”

And that was the end of that.

* * *

It was much longer before he heard a familiar voice call from the other room.

“Cha-Cha?” a voice called out.

The dog in question had been lying on the floor but immediately perked up at the call. She leapt up and raced into the other room. Trixie looked up slightly at the sudden movement, but quickly dismissed as she was now working for the day. Virgil noted how well she ignored the distraction, especially when another dog was around and in her house, and called her over to give her a little treat. After, he called her to his side and went to greet Remy.

“Hey Remy,” he called out. The teen was sitting up on the couch, Cha-Cha piled on top of him. Unlike last night, he had a smile on his face.

“Hey,” he greeted. He still wore a smile, but the tense atmosphere from last night returned.

“I’m headed to the park with Trixie in a little bit,” he commented, “Want to grab something to eat and join me? I bet Cha-Cha could use the exercise after the plane ride yesterday.”

Remy’s shoulders relaxed slightly.

“Yeah, that uh, that sounds good actually,” he agreed.

“Cool, uh do you need some clothes?”

“Oh, uh I brought a bag? I mean like a backpack so I have like a pair of clothes, uh, so,” Remy trailed off. He quickly felt along the side of the couch and located his bag on the floor and pulled it onto his lap.

“Okay,” Virgil said, “Remember where the bathroom is?”

Remy nodded.

“Okay, I’ll let you be, I’ll make you a bagel or something and then we can head out, sound good? Oh and we can figure out what to feed Cha-Cha.”

“Uh, yeah,” Remy muttered, “Thanks.”

He stood and snapped his guide cane into place and took off towards the bathroom. Virgil left to put together a bagel quickly.

* * *

They took to the street not twenty minutes later and immediately set off towards the park.

Virgil carefully broached the conversation as they walked.

“Remy, I know this isn’t easy for you. But I’m worried. What’s going on?”

The teen stiffened, “I told you. I ran away.”

Virgil sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Rem, I’m gonna need more than that.”

“Gurl, it’s all good,” Remy said with a forced smile, “I’m going to college out here in a few months anyway so it's not really like it's a big deal. And I don’t have to stay with you or anything I mean I can just- well I can find a place. And so really it all makes sense anyway.”

“Remy, I’m not worried about that. We can figure that out. I'm worried about why you ran away.”

“Technically I’m eighteen so-”

“Remy.”

The teen sighed but nodded.

“My dad. He just- I mean I love him. But he doesn’t let me do anything. And that sounds so stupid but its just-” Remy cut himself off and sighed.

Virgil let him, hoping that he would gather his thoughts and continue to explain.

“Well a few months ago I went to check up on my eyes and I’ve pretty much got just light and dark now and I mean it’s not that different to me, truthfully I hadn’t really noticed, but he’s freaking out and he wasn’t even letting me leave the house and when I tried to fight him on it he took away Cha-Cha and just- And then he said I should maybe tell Florida State that I wasn’t gonna go and just- Well that was the last straw. So I packed a bag, stole his credit card info, grabbed Cha-Cha and left.”

Remy was crying by the end of his story, tears leaking out slowly from under his sunglasses. He took them off with a huff, squinting slightly in the harsh light as he desperately wiped away his tears.

“He took away Cha-Cha?” Virgil asked. He stared at the dog and then her owner. He took away his dog? And not even Remy’s dog, but his independence. Shit.

“Yeah,” Remy said with a watery laugh hand gripping tighter on said dog’s harness.

“Fuck,” Virgil swore. God he knew that Remy’s dad could be tough and frustrating when it came down to Remy’s independence and freedom, but he hadn’t realized it had gotten this bad.

“You can say that again gurl,” Remy agreed.

The rest of their walk was shrouded in complete silence.

When they did arrive at the park and their respective dogs were let off duty, the change was instantaneous. The working dogs turned into playful puppies, chasing each other around the large grassy area. Remy and Virgil sat on the grass, waiting for them to either tire out or demand for their owners to play with them.

It was a bright peace of contentment in the trying time.

* * *

“He took Cha-Cha away?” Patton asked, his face was of utter disbelief.

“Yup,” Virgil agrees as he paced back in forth in their bedroom.

His boyfriends all looked different degrees of shocked and horrified.

“And told him not to go to college?” Roman repeated.

“Yup.”

“We can find a place if you give us a few weeks,” Logan pitched in.

And wait- _what?_

The others turned to him, if not more shocked than before.

“ _What?_ ” Virgil asked out loud.

“Remy and I,” Logan clarified.

“No, no I got it,” Virgil confirmed, “but why? What? What gave you the idea to move out?”

“Well I don’t think Remy’s going to go back, and honestly I don’t want him to. So he needs somewhere to stay over the summer until school starts. And I mean he’s my cousin, I can’t just leave him to figure that all out. He’s barely eighteen.”

“Well of course not,” Virgil agreed, “But what gave you the idea that you would move out? I mean, I thought if it was okay with all of you he could just stay here for the next few months. I mean it’s really not that long.”

“Uh, that’s what I was thinking too,” Roman pitched in.

“Yeah,” Patton agreed.

“Oh,” Logan said, “Oh. Well okay, I just didn’t want to impose- I mean he’s my cousin and-”

“Lo, he’s also my friend. And even if he wasn’t he wouldn’t be imposing, and neither would you. Okay?”

Logan nodded in understanding before dipping his head, a slight blush returning to his cheeks.

-

Considering it was Virgil who got him to open up in the first place, it was Virgil who went to explain the situation.

“Okay, Remy we need to figure this out.”

The boy, who had taken to listening to something on his phone on the couch startled and jumped up.

“Uh, figure what out?” he asked.

“So we talked,” Virgil explained, “And you’re welcome to stay here.”

At that Remy’s body slackened, the tension in him releasing almost completely. Virgil couldn’t help but become a little choked up at how relieved the other boy looked.

“I- Thank you,” he muttered, as his eyes watered up slightly.

“But, well, there’s not exactly rules persay, but I do have suggestions for you while you’re here,” Virgil continued.

Remy’s shoulders stiffened slightly, but they were still way more relaxed than before. Personally, Virgil took that as a win.

“Can I sit?” Virgil asked.

“Gurl, it’s your apartment you can sit wherever you want.”

The worst thing about Remy being blind was that Virgil’s glares were useless on him. Virgil voiced as much and Remy laughed at the comment. They both sat on the couch.

“What I mean by suggestions,” Virgil began, “Is that I’m worried about you. Look. I-”

Virgil scrubbed a hand over his face. He knew this conversation was going to be hard. Sure, over the years the subject had gotten easier, but it had, and probably never would be easy.

“You know my parents sent me away pretty soon after the police found me right? To get more help with my trauma that they couldn’t proved?” Virgil continued.

“Yeah,” Remy replied with a nod.

Virgil nodded as well and took a deep breathe to compose himself, struggling to fight back memories. Treatment itself had been good and had really helped him, but before, well… it was certainly better that it was now in the past. Deep breathes Virgil, you don’t need to bring you’re trauma into this. You’re safe. It’s okay. Trixie, sensing his anxiety, hopped up onto the couch and laid down on his lap. Virgil gave her a few pets to steady himself.

“Well when I came back, I was doing a lot better than before. But I just- I don't know- I was functioning and going through life but I wasn’t really living. I can see the same potentially happening to you now that you’re not living at home anymore. I can see you becoming subdued and depressed, and it makes me worry about you,” Virgil admitted.

Remy stayed silent.

“Honestly,” Virgil continued, “Not only does it remind me of myself, but it reminds me of you when we first met and you had just lost most of your vision.”’

Remy stiffened at the comment.

“That was a long time ago,” he commented, words slow and chosen carefully.

“Yeah,” Virgil agreed, “But I think a lot of it is still relevant today. Like your desire but lack of independence.”

“But I have independence now,” Remy protested, “I got away from my dad and I’m in a whole other state.”

“Sure,” Virgil agreed, “but you aren’t independent. You live with us, you don’t have a job, or volunteer, and you don’t participate in any scheduled activities, plus school doesn’t start for a while. These are necessarily bad things, but for someone who always talks about needing independence, you don’t have much of it.

“Now I’m not saying you need to move out and we aren’t going to make you pay rent or anything, we really are happy and financially stable enough to support you. You are still young, you don’t need to be that independent yet. But I think it would be good for you to be more independent.”

Much to Virgil’s surprise Remy didn't leap at the opportunity for independence. In fact, he had the exact opposite reaction: crying. Remy had started _crying_. Cha-Cha in response placed her head in his lap and let out a whine.

“You’re right,” Remy admitted as slow tears slipped down his cheeks.

The room buzzed with tension.

“But?” Virgil prompted. After all, wasn’t independence exactly what Remy wanted?

Remy’s tears burst into full out sobbing and Virgil through a comforting arm around him to pull him close, allowing the younger teen to cry into his hoodie.

“I- It’s just-” Remy struggled to say through choked sobs.

“Breathe Remy,” Virgil reminded him.

The other boy nodded and took a few gulping breaths before speaking again.

“It’s just, like I know I _can_ be independent and I want to be. But I don’t know _how_ to be.” He blushed something fierce. “And I know I always talk about independence but really I have no _clue_ what I’m doing!”

“Okay, hey it’s okay,” Virgil soothed, attempting to calm the boy down before he continued to spiral.

“And- And- Maybe my father’s _right_. I have no clue how to do anything and it’s just everything is just- Virgil it’s just so much harder being blind on top of everything. Like life is difficult enough already and-”

“C’mon Rem, let’s take some deep breaths and calm down, it’s going to be okay, got it? It’s all going to be okay.”

The boy took gasping breaths as Virgil pulled him closer.

Virgil remember during the day he had meet Remy. The younger boy had seen so much wiser and stronger than Virgil himself. Now Virgil couldn't help but feel like the tables had turned. Virgil was an adult, and not a great one at times, but he was getting through it. He was okay. Remy on the other hand...

And in the moment, Virgil couldn't help but realize just how small the teen was. He could hardly be called an adult. And the fact that his father had coddled him for so long didn’t help any.

“Remy it’s okay. The reason I’m bringing it up is because I think you’re right. Independence could be good for you. And you not knowing how to be independent is also okay. After all, you are barely an adult, and really, no one is ever completely independent and that’s okay. You’re not in this alone. Me, Logan, Patton, Roman, we’re all here to help you figure it out, okay?”

Remy nodded weakly as his sobs slowly came to a stop.

“I-” Remy started before falling silent and shaking his head.

Virgil just held the boy close and waited patiently.

“I guess,” Remy spoke up again, this time lifting his head slightly, “I guess I’ve always felt like I was alone. That everyone around me was telling me that I would never amount to anything. And I feel like I’ve always had to prove them wrong about me. But that I’ve always come up short.”

“Maybe,” Virgil spoke carefully, “Maybe it’s less about proving them wrong, and more about proving to yourself of your own capabilities. And Remy, you are capable of things like living by yourself and getting a job and going to school. And truthfully, you’re probably going to need help with it. And not because your blind, even though that’s probably what everyone has told you. Everyone needs help. Sometimes the hardest- but bravest- thing is to accept that.”

“Okay,” Remy said with a nod. A determined look passed across his face.

“Yeah?”

Remy gave a grin and nodded again.

“You’re right.”

And maybe the conversation didn’t solve everything. It certainly didn’t make Remy any more independent than before. But maybe that wasn’t the point. In fact, maybe it wasn’t about independence at all, but the inner strength within and accepting when one needed help.

After all, anyone can fight a war, but not everyone can win one. And those who do win are the ones with the best generals on their side, supporting, challenging, and guiding their every move. And Virgil was more than happy to be one of those generals for Remy. Now it was just up to Remy to take the first step.

**Author's Note:**

>  **In Depth TW: PTSD** (Virgil shows PTSD symptoms throughout the story), **Cults** (Virgil was kidnapped and forced into a cult), **Anxiety** (All characters deal with a heightened sense of anxiety, specifically Remy, Virgil, and Logan), **Restrictive and Borderline Abusive Parents** (Remy's father makes numerous decisions that limit Remy's independence an unhealthy amount), **Taking Away a Guidance Aid** (Remy's father takes away his service dog), **Borderline Panic Attack** Remy has spiraling thoughts and has trouble breathing, Virgil guides him through it before he panics too much), **Ableism** (Remy's father expresses an ableist point of view. Remy deals with internalized ableism)
> 
> -
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this. This really was a hard one to write, as I kept losing and regaining the direction I wanted it to go. Ultimately, I'm quite happy with it, and I hope you are too. Please let me know what you think. I love hearing from all of you. And remember to always be polite!
> 
> hmu on my tumblr [here](https://thechildoflightning.tumblr.com/). I post updates on all my ao3 stuff, as well as some other things about the series. Recently I made a thing about the service dogs in this series. Also feel free to send asks or just talk to me. No pressure though, you aren't obligated in anyway to feel like you have to. :)
> 
> ~childoflightning


End file.
